Right now there is not much happening. Basically I am quite busy with Instagram, some platform, like Facebook, that I had been boycotting all my life for obvious reasons.
It’s too easy to get lost there. Especially if you already are lost, like me. Anyways, what I am trying, of course, is to spread more of my shit. To build something like a “fanbase” – although I don’t believe this ever will happen, but yeah.
I’m just trying to get some traffic and share my pictures, drawing and paintings while trying not to get lost in selfish self-adulation. Instagram is narcissistic shit, that’s obvious. Still I’m trying to build something up here, that maybe some time in the future I might earn a living from that.
Although I don’t believe in shit like that. I’m just giving it a try.
What I will do though, is post some more of my stories in the near future, I still have some left, not my best ones, but surely controversial.
Also, like H.C. Anderson, I could write a book on ideas for stories, often times I would begin writing and then losing interest, which is shit. Right now I absolutely don’t feel like writing at all.
I’m still without a home, something I am working on. If I ever shall be lucky in my life, I’ll find me a place where I can stay, then I will also have access to stories and poems lost that I could post.
But I d k. Literally. I’m so depressed and disillusioned. Also, my eating disorder habits are kicking in again. If I knew I could get help anywhere I’d give that a try, even. But I don’t believe in pills changing the world for me. Also the german health care system, especially regarding mental problems is just fucked up to the core. Still, I even have too much money left to be helped by our “social” care system (into which I have paid for decades).
Hopefully things will work out for once, that would be great.
So my current goals are finding me a place, becoming as self sufficient as possible and then we’ll see what happens next.
Top picture I drew lately, at least something I’m having a little fun with, lately. Check out my instagram for more pictures, if you like what I’m doing.
Oh, and right now I’m reading Goldfarb’s bio of Frances Glessner Lee. If you like the obscure, you’ll find that book interesting, too. She made crime scenes in form of little doll houses for educational purposes. Quite interesting.
Last but not least an existential “what ever”. Can’t hail the PCotFJ enough for: “as it is – so be it.”
Best regards, A.N.E.